I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
