You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
ttyl tear gas
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
