Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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