they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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