I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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