Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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