is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
