Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
as a side note pls kill me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
