If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I pour the whiskey from now on
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
