1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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