it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
