Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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