Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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