make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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