I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
