porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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