Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
