areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
