I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
