I should be sponsored by Trojan
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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