ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You need a sexual gate keeper
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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