I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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