I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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