How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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