Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we're making bets on your personal life
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
