i just wanna soil my oats bro
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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