Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
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YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
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I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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