so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He had one of those small greek statue penises
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
