True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
