Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
