We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
