Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
