Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
