I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We have so much sex to catch up on
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
