How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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