Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Two words: nipple clamps
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