you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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