I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
