We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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