i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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