yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
