look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
