theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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