I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
