I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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