Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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