In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Is Oprah even human
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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