I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
