The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize