But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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