His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
