OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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