You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
