i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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