mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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