I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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