it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
