some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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