we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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