it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize