the condom got lost in my hair
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
my poor anus
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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