i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
