So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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