Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
