On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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