I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
