At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
