4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize