Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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