He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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