I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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