I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize