I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I party with great urgency now.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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