Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Hippo gnu deer
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
pray to the hookup gods
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
