Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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