Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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