but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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