Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
