I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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