I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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